Friendly Banter

"Jokes for nerds"
Started by orca on 9/15/2014 1:09:31 AM

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9/15/2014 1:09 AM
If you get these, you might be a nerd:

Q. What do you say to comfort a grammar nazi?
A. There their they're.

Q. What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?
A. Beer.

C, E Flat and G walk into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, no minors".

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but mean your mother.

The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.

Q. What's another name for Santa's elves.
A. Subordinate clauses.

Q. What do you call two crows on a branch?
A. Attempted murder.

Helium walks into a bar and is told "Sorry, we don't serve noble gasses here". He doesn't react.

Teacher: "Johnny, name two pronouns".
Johnny: "Who, me?"

Bellhop to a photon: "Do you have any baggage, Sir?"
Photon: "No, I'm traveling light."

Q. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. A fish.

Q. Why can't you trust atoms?
A. Because they make up everything.

A biologist, a chemist and a statistician playing darts. The biologist goes first and misses the target by 5" to the left. The chemist misses by 5" to the right, and the statistician yells "bullseye!".

There are 10 kinds of people in this world; those who understand binary, and those who don't.

If you get these, you are *definitely* a nerd:

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Would you like a drink sir?"
Descartes replies "I think not", and vanishes.

My friend, Power, has been stressed all week. His boss keeps making him work overtime.

And my personal favorite:

Q. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
9/15/2014 3:40 AM

.. a puzzled look?
9/15/2014 4:06 AM
9/15/2014 8:20 AM
Those are good. I don't know any nerd jokes, so I'll just leave you with a redneck word.


Johnny borrowed my car and hit a pole, so I asked him. Is dissident?
Jane Eyre
9/15/2014 12:12 PM
Good ones! Loved the combination of the last one and Denee's puzzled look.
Jane Eyre
9/15/2014 12:13 PM
9/15/2014 10:45 PM
Poor kitty.
9/16/2014 1:59 AM
''lol jane
beleive me
i get a lot of puzzled looks on this game
9/16/2014 6:18 PM
Oh Denee, don't pay no mind to any puzzled looks you get. I think you are uniquely funny as do many others here.
Since this great Thread (thank you Orca) is about Nerds, who are universally unappreciated IMHO, here is something I found online to share:

"We are all a bit weird and life is a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we fall into a mutual weirdness called friendship".

9/16/2014 8:09 PM
I like that one, PeppermintT - it explains a lot, in a way I hadn't really thought about ;-)

I also like the quote often attributed to Bill Gates, but apparently belonging to Charles J sykes:

“Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them.”

And Denee, I wholeheartedly agree, you bring something unique to acro. Your Blundstones would be hard to fill :)
9/17/2014 1:46 AM
=) tyty

lol my blundstones arent that big!

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